A Very Scary Time.....

I woke up the morning of Aug. 25th.. ready for the 2nd day of school..but as soon as my feet hit the floor I could tell I just really didn't feel good at all! Mom and Dad were on their way over from their camper for our normal morning routine..someone stays with Adilynn while someone else takes Ally to school.. I was getting Ally ready (which some mornings she just doesn't want to get in gear) and this was one of those mornings.. and I had absolutely No patience with her.. my head was killing me! Mom helped me and was going to take Ally to school so I could lay back down...BUT Ally wanted Me AND Gma to take her..so we Did and on the way back from dropping her off my Headache got even worse!! Got home and layed down for a bit..but just started feeling VERY Weird.. (I had this same feeling during delivery and it was when my blood pressure got very high) sooo I took my Blood Pressure and it was 200 something over 100 something..and my pulse was in the 30's :( The last month of my pregnancy my feet and ankles were VERY swollen, but my BP stayed good so dr. wasn't concerned w/ the swelling...but every day after delivery it seemed like I was getting more and more swollen.. and not just in my feet and ankles, it went clear up past my knees and my stomach didn't go down after delivery like it did w/ Ally, and each day actually seemed bigger and bigger..but I had called the OB office a few days before this a.m. and explained about the swelling and the nurse said it was NORMAL up to two weeks post partum to be swollen and even more swollen than before delivery because of all the fluids pumped in me during labor and delivery..OK sounds right... But Now I'm Just Feeling Sooo Weird....so Mom called the OB dr. again for me and explained the situation and BP reading and Pulse..and they said to come right in...sooo
Dad takes me there and Mom stays with Adilynn..dr. says I need to be admitted to Hospital he thinks Pre-eclampsia after delivery..Bob meets me and dad at Dr. and takes me to Hospital and Dad comes home to help Mom....
After laying in the hospital bed for hours feeling really BAD and BP really High and Pulse Really Low..and the nurses had yet to hang any IV med the dr ordered... I start feeling Really Really Weird and my Head Hurts As Bad as it EVER Has..and I just tell Bob "I'm Scared.. I really Don't Feel Right"... then over the intercom it says "Rapid Response to Room blah blah blah...Rapid Response to Room Blah Blah Blah.." and I'm like "Hey That's my room number.." but I had a roommate at this time, an older lady, so I'm like thinking maybe it's her..but MAN.. I don't feel Good At ALL... And then... There's Like 10 people rushing in my room..at MY Bedside..and the Crash Cart is there... and they are ALL just looking at me... and saying "Her pulse dropped to 20 something.." and I'm thinking... OMG there were like a Million Thoughts racing through my mind ALL at ONCE!!!.... I was thinking DO SOMETHING..Don't just stand there looking at me and just waiting for my heart to STOP!!!...and thinking OH MY Gosh..I was soooo grouchy to Allyssa this morning when I didn't feel good and she wasn't cooperating..and Now I'm gonna die and that's the last memory she's gonna remember...Me Yelling AT HER... and No I Cannot Die..Because Allyssa has been sooo nervous ever since she found out that I was Pregnant..afraid I would DIE,and I have Promised Her Over and Over that I am NOT going to DIE... and I can't Die because not only does Ally need her mommy, I now have a 5 day old baby girl at home that needs her mommy also!! And Not Only can I NOT Die..I cannot stay here in this Hospital I have to get better Right NOW.. Because Ally is going to be sooo freaked out if I'm still in here when she gets out of school, and I NEED to be HOME taking care of my Baby Girl!!!.......
Then I am being transferred to ICU.. and FINALLY the Nurses are giving me Medication.. and my body on it's own starts dumping... getting all those toxins out.. the catheter was getting a real work out... like constantly I was peeing.. No lie...but for awhile No matter what they tried my BP was well over 200 over 100 something and pulse in the 30's... FINALLY with me on Nitroglycerin through my IV they got my BP to come down to 170's over 100.. but that Nitro gives you a Horrible headache..which I was already suffering from anyway.. but with it working to drop BP the risk of seizure and/or stroke was less!
Well, it became evident to me that I was going to be in ICU for Awhile..and Ally was going to have to know..and I was going to need help from my parents who were planning on leaving the next day (Fri) to go to my cousins wedding... And that is probably when my mental state changed.. Yes I was still scared.. BUT I knew that God Was With Me and With My Girls and With Bob and With MY Parents and With My Brothers (who were in Illinois wondering if they should come) God was Definately in All of This!!! He made sure that I didn't miss Ally's first day of school.. Yesterday... He let me get her off to school this a.m. (barely), He made sure my parents hadn't left yet!! etc. etc. the list goes on and on and ON... God's Perfect Timing!! And I can't begin to tell you how many times over these past months I've had to remind myself.. In God's Perfect Timing... I will Feel BETTER!!!
After School was out my Parents got the dirty job of breaking the news to Allyssa.. and she took it the Best She Could..Such a Brave Little Girl, These past 9 months especially.. She was pretty quiet and she admitted to me later that she snuck off to her bedroom and CRIED! Just Breaks My heart! She didn't want to come see me (which is a good thing, I was it no shape at that time for her to see me) and she didn't want to talk to me on the phone..but after a day she asked Grandma If Her Mom Ran AWAY..sooo sad.. it was time for her to come and see that I was at the hospital getting better.. I didn't run away.. and I didn't DIE! So Bob brought her to see me..I did my best to be upbeat..and ally did her best to be brave..and it was really nice to be able to hug her..but the visit was a short one..I just didn't have it in me to keep it upbeat for very long.. the next few days sure was a roller coaster ride.. i'd feel like i was getting a whole lot better..and just as fast my bp would spike and i would feel crappy..i missed my girls and was sooo worried that mom was getting herself down...I tried to be a big girl and send Bob on home to help out or rest up, when I was having my good moments..but many times he no longer got home and I called him Right Back! I can NEVER PRaise him enough for How Wonderful He was to me through all of this.. just as I can NEVER thank my parents enough for all they have done for us, and what comfort it was for me knowing my girls were being taken care of!
Soo with that part behind.. we moved on to better days from there!!!
Thank You God For being with us Every Step Of The WAY!! And Thanks to many of you who sent prayers for me up to the LORD..they Worked!!